Live Cross
by broadhands
Summary: Narnia Network News live cross to entertainment reporter Trixie the Dryad, interviewing Tash the Inexorable at the premiere of The Last Battle, and after a couple of his major gigs.
1. Chapter 1

"We're just going to a live cross to our entertainment reporter, Trixie the Dryad, who's at the premiere of the latest blockbuster directed by Jack Lewis. Trixie, what's the goss?"

"Well I'm here on the red carpet with Tash the Inexorable, one of the stars of _The Last Battle_."

"Hi Trixie."

"Tash, I understand that life on the set of this movie was not all fun and games."

"I don't think Jack's heart was in the movie, Trixie. He just seemed to want to rush through to the end of shooting, and there were big fights with the studio almost every day. The marketing people wanted to change the title so they could set it up for a sequel if the receipts were good; I mean _The Last Battle 2_ sounds pretty silly, doesn't it? But Jack threatened to walk if they changed it, and the studio just backed down. It's all pretty moot anyway; he kills everyone off at the end, so that put paid to any talk of a sequel."

"So what really happened on set with glamour icon Susan Pevensie?"

"Well, you know that Jack and Susan's relationship has been a bit rocky for a while. There were all these rumours that she's been spreading her favours around; just look at the industry gossip around her and Caspian. Jack and Susan had a big bust-up only a week into filming; he told her that she was too old for the role and wrote her part out of the script altogether. She told him that he could forget about working with her again, and as for anything else, it just wasn't going to happen. It's a real disappointment for her fans, and the studio was furious."

"I hear you weren't happy with the final product."

"Well, Trixie, to be honest I was pretty disappointed. Most of my scenes were left on the cutting room floor; I was only left with two scenes in the movie, and just one line of dialogue. It wasn't what I signed up for at all."

"So what will the fans think of this last epic in the Chronicles franchise?"

"I don't think it's going to be as big as the studio hoped. The movie ends on a downer, and the exit of Susan from the production will impact on receipts. The hard core fans will still go, but it's not going to get the grosses of the first few episodes."

"What's next for Tash the Irresistible?"

"The band are playing some gigs in Archenland, and then we're back in the studio for a month to finish up work on the next Tash & The Temple Virgins album; _Burnt Offerings_. It will out in time for the Autumn Feast, so to all my loyal fans, look for it in the stores."

"Thank you Tash. This is Trixie the Dryad for Narnia Network News, reporting from the premiere of _The Last Battle_."


	2. Chapter 2

"This is Trixie the Dryad for Narnia Network News, reporting live from backstage at The Stable. I'm here to speak to bad boy rock god Tash, of mega-huge rock band Tash & The Temple Virgins."

"Hi Trixie. How's it hanging?" (Tash leers at reporter, his pupils enormously dilated)

"My boughs are my own business. But what was your reaction to the concert crowd?"

(Tash suddenly looks serious) "It was ugly, Trixie; it was like a playback of Altamonte. The gig was going great until we were gatecrashed by a bunch of Narnian upper-crust losers, and started beating up on my fans right there in the mosh pit. Shift the Ape, my manager tried to calm things down, but the bastards beat him within an inch of his life."

"Is it true that the gatecrashers were all members of the Aslan Fan Club?"

"Yeah. We've had trouble with them before; they claim my music is a perversion of rock. But they scared the girls so much they had to leave the stage, and we had to try and cool them down by playing some covers. A perversion; huh! Aslan plays nothing but pop froth." (last comment in a derisive tone)

"Is it true that there were some deaths?"

"I'm sorry, Trixie, you'll need to speak to venue management about that. I can't comment for legal reasons."

"So did you finish the set?"

"My producer, Rishda Tarkaan, managed to call in extra security, and they managed to eject the trouble makers. After that, the girls came back on stage, and then we really rocked; like it was the end of the world!"

(Trixie looks to camera) "That's the breaking news from tonight's events at The Stable. This is Trixie the Dryad for Narnia Network News, signing off."

(cross back to news desk)


	3. Chapter 3

"And welcome back to the Narnia Network News special broadcast on the end of the world. Our next segment is on the event that closed out this grand event, the concert to end all concerts, so we're crossing live to our entertainment reporter, Trixie the Dryad. Are you there, Trixie?"

"Yes, I'm here, and I've got a special surprise for our viewers; Tash the Irrestible, who everyone knows as the self-proclaimed bad-boy of the music biz, and rock god front man for mega-huge act Tash & The Temple Virgins." (Camera cuts away to show Trixie and Tash seated in comfortable chairs in the Green Room of The Stable)

"It's always a pleasure to talk to you, Trixie."

"Tash; what was it like being a headline act in this once in a lifetime event?"

"It was inspirational, Trixie, to play with some of the best musos in the biz. I mean, how can you go past Father Time? He was there right at the start of rock & roll. Old FT laid down some of the best tracks in the history of music. I know he has been retired for ages, so it was a real pleasure to hear him rip off some chords, and show the world he hadn't lost the groove. Some of his riffs were sublime enough to extinguish the sun."

"So you put him down as one of your major influences."

"I don't know an artist today who doesn't owe a great deal to his pioneering efforts."

"How did you feel about having to share equal billing with Aslan?"

(Tash shifts uncomfortably in his chair and coughs before answering)

"Look, Trixie, the media has blown up this rivalry thing with Aslan for far too long. There isn't that much in it. Like, you know, I don't personally care for the guy, or his music; he panders to the commercial pop market far too much to have any real street cred in the serious end of the biz. But in a way you gotta admire Aslan; he really knows his market, and he shifts a lot of vinyl for his record company. Those teeny-boppers can't get enough of his stuff."

"So you were cool about appearing on the same bill."

"To be honest, I was a little wary at first, but the promoter assured me that this concert would be the biggest in the history of the world, and when he told me the other names he had signed I just couldn't refuse; it would have been churlish."

"I hear you are looking for a change of management."

(Tash looks a little embarrassed)

"Yeah. I had to terminate my old manager Shift the Ape. I found out he was skimming too much banana off the top of our sales, so he had to go. It was quite painful; well, at least it was for him. He was quite eaten up about it; but there'll be no more monkey business with our band." (Tash gives a particularly feral smile, and Trixie is now the one looking uncomfortable)

"Are you keeping your record producer, Rishda Tarkaan?"

"Well, Shift originally brought him in, and I found out he was taking more than his cut as well, so poor old Rish got swallowed up in part of the same sordid affair. But I think a new producer will give the band an opportunity to change our musical direction for the better."

"Would you like to tell our viewers what that may be?"

"The girls and I have decided to do an acoustic album, and we've already laid down a couple of tracks to see how it travels. We're going to call it _Death Unplugged_; it's going to be really special. But we're not going to stop doing death thrash; we don't want to disappoint our fans, just appeal to some new ones."

"Tash, do you have any plans for touring dates?"

"Not yet, Trixie. With the end of the world, a whole new set of markets have opened up to us, so we're in discussions with some potential promoters. But we'll make an announcement on touring dates soon."

"Tash, thank you for agreeing to talk to us, and I'd like to congratulate you on an earth-shattering gig."

"Why thank you, Trixie."

(Camera cuts to closeup of Trixie) "There you have it viewers. That was a live exclusive with Tash the Ineffable, and I am Trixie the Dryad, reporting for Narnia Network News.

(Fade to black)


	4. Chapter 4

"And in this special investigative report, Narnia Network News entertainment reporter Trixie the Dryad delves into the murky end of the music biz. Over to you, Trixie."

"I'm at a secret location interviewing Tash the Irrestible, frontman of mega-huge death thrash act Tash & The Temple Virgins. Tash, what do you have to say about the latest revelations about Aslan?"

"I would have to say that his squeaky-clean image is looking grimy around the edges, Trixie. This latest lawsuit of his against fan-produced mashups is purely driven by his need to bump up sales. His numbers have been flagging, and this is the whole driver behind these vexatious legal actions against some of his most loyal fans."

"So you view this development as negative."

"Look, Trixie, the guy is a dinosaur. He might look like a lion, and sound like a lion, but he is not a real lion – or even a tame lion. What we are seeing is the real Aslan, the one that his label has kept hidden all these years, driven to defend his territory at all costs rather than adapt and change to new market conditions. His business model hasn't adapted to the pervasiveness of the Net and the impact it has had on album sales, so now he is in full slash and burn mode. I can't see that many of his fans will stick with him, especially after he disembowelled a few of them."

"So you regard his failure to adopt the Net as a sales channel as a fatal flaw."

"Yeah. He has been sticking with the old formula of one or two hit singles with a load of crap on the rest of the album, and the fans aren't buying it anymore. Me and the girls have been working on quality rather than quantity, and it's been reflected in our sales – this year over 85% of our net was generated through iTunes rather than CD or vinyl. Our total numbers are down a little, but we are making huge savings through reduced production and distribution costs, so our profit is actually up. Aslan's refusal to shift to the new media is really hurting him."

"I suppose your recent release of _Your Heart Is Beating In My Hands_ confirms your views, especially since Aslan's last album release disappeared without a trace."

_(Tash looks embarrassed)_

"Well, yes, it was gratifying that it was our first number one hit single driven entirely by online sales, ahead of its release on CD. Me and the girls wanted to keep the integrity in our artistic vision, rather than be driven by what the label wanted, so that we could keep our loyal fans happy. Part of that was to get out in front of the fans on live tours. I think the results speak for themselves. The sacrifice a few of the record company execs made was well worth the price."

"I hear that one of them donated the heart for the video clip."

_(Tash laughs)_

"Actually, we had to use three before the director was happy with the results. He said the first two had no sense of rhythm and clashed with the soundtrack, which was pretty funny for people from the music biz."

_(Trixie laughs briefly at his little joke)_

"Tash, what advice would you give Aslan in his current situation?"

"The guy needs to rethink both his artistic direction and his business model. Until he stops making compromises driven by his label, and starts being true to his fan base and adapting to the new media, his career is going to go down the gurgler. If he's not careful he'll end up just like the boy bands of the nineties – lip synced into oblivion."

"So what are Tash and the Temple Virgins doing next?"

"We are doing ten back-to-back live shows in Tashbaan, and then going on a tour through Galma, Terebinthia and the Lone Islands, before we get back in the recording studios for a couple of months."

"Thank you, Tash. Next we have noted vocal duet Ramandu and his daughter, long time opening act for Aslan, for their views on his plummeting career."


End file.
